Sunday - December 27th

After a long hiatus, I'm back.

So in the past few months, not much has happened. I met two younger guys in their 30s who wanted a fling. I told them both that I am not interested. I've been keeping a low profile, enjoying my solitude.  Blocking out the noise and riff raff.

Yesterday, I went out on a date with a guy who is here from France. Had korean food. Not sure that sparks flew but was an ok time.

Been catching up on movies. No plans so far for new years. Will keep you posted.

can't seem to fall asleep at nigh

Has it ever happened to you to toss and turn in bed at night unable to fall asleep.

Insomnia - as you struggle to fall asleep but can't seem to be able too, anxiety and almost panic set in. The more you panic and the more anxious you get, the more you can't fall asleep.

Anyway, nothing eventful happening tonight. Going to bed early.

breaking the silence

I just realized I've been MIA for 16 days. So much for keeping up with this blog.

Well truth be told, I've been extremely busy the past two weeks.

Now to think back to two weeks ago...I had a work function the wednesday two weeks ago where I went home early, followed by going to bed early thurs and fri.

Saturday I went to Buffalo with a gf of mine and sunday, the cute young guy that I'm seeing came to see me.

As for the past week, I had a work function Tuesday, then went with a coworker to this drop in craft workroom.

Wed was invited to an improptu fashion show at the distillery district last minute. Went to see an improv show afterwards.

Thursday went to the Roosevelt Room where they served mini kobe slider burgers free from 5-7pm. Had a great time with friends.

Friday played squash and then headed to little italy for dinner and drinks. Called it an early night.

Stayed in last night. Had dinner with friends at Sushi Time on Queen st. Called it an early night.

Tonight, also quiet night, pretty uneventful. I've given up on the dating scene.

Thursday night and Friday

So I thought I was going to stay in last night. Turns out I receive a txt from a gf of mine telling me her bf got a new job and was out celebrating. She asked me to join them. So I decide to head out at 10pm to meet them at the Irish Embassy. Apparently, my friend's bf's good friend will also be there.

Had a good time but went home at 1230pm as we all had to work the next day. Overall a fun night.

Tonight, I cancelled on dinner at Kiwe. Kind of feeling under the weather. Might go to the fifth later if I'm feeling up for it.

More later. Taking a power nap.

Middle of the week...

So yesterday I didn't do much after work other than eat dinner and head over to my ultimate frisbee game.

Today, was supposed to take a friend out for dinner but turns out he had to work overtime. Was a bit relieved as I had no idea where to go and had not made any reservations. Weird too that we'd have dinner just the two of us. Didn't want him to think it was a date.

So I just went home after work. Didn't want to head out now that the weather is so cold and the sky turned so dark.

So, I thought maybe the two guys from last weekend would have tried to contact me by now but its now thursday and no word yet. I'm starting to lose interest not that I was extremely interested to begin with. I also txted messaged the guy who lives in my building but I've lost interest in him as well.

So my dating life right now is at a stand still.

Plans for tomorrow night and this weekend haven't been firmed up yet. Probably going to easy tomorrow night and somewhere else sat night. Not so much in the mood for going out now that the weather is so cold.

Was invited to a friend's going away party. Not sure if I'll go given that my ex bf will be there.

More on the weekend later.

The past 15 day...in short

So, I took a long hiatus from the blog-a-sphere because I've been super busy.

So two weeks ago, went out with cute guy from Bier market on the Saturday. Went to Spice Route and chilled there all night. Have a crush on the guy but not sure if we are just friends. He gave me a kiss on the neck before saying goodbye.

Went to thanksgiving dinner at my coworkers place on the Sunday. Had to cut out early to meet up with my friend from Cali and another university friend. For some reason, they decided that they wanted to meet up at The Brass Rail. So I rush there only to find my friends MIA. Finally was able to find them. Hung out for a bit, rushed home and changed so that I could go to The Fifth.

Got picked up by a young guy there who took down my number. Met a bunch of new people that night. Generally a fun night.

Last weekend was a little bit crazy. Went to Spice Route to have dinner with one of my gfs and some of her friends. Crossed the street and headed over to Brant house to celebrate a friend's bday. Stayed up till late.

Got up the next morning and went to thr bike show. Picked up a trainer and other biking accessories. Got dropped off and got picked up by a friend. Had lunch at Congee Queen and went shopping at Donmills mall. Went to the friend's house to look at potential renovations. Helped him clean, reorganize, and went to home depot. Went to eat dinner at a vietnamese restaurant. Then got 2 invites to go out but chose to go to Tryst with gf. Met bunch of her gf and a bday girl. Stayed out till late.

Spent most of Sunday recovering. Went for a 2 hour bike ride on Martin goodman trail. Then headed midtown for dinner at my fav restaurant, The Lobster Trap. Got into an altercation with date. There was tension and uncomfortable silence. Ended exchanging a few emails on the subject. Agreed we didn't want to see each other anymore. End of story.

Went to Montreal for business on Tuesday. Wined and dined clients at very posh high end restaurant - cafe ferrera and milos. Flew back Wed morning. Overall a very hectic week at work.

This past weekend was also a bit crazy. Went to the National Women's show on Friday after work. Got bangs trimmed. Rushed to the LG fashion show at King and Shaw in a taxi from the convention centre. It was pouring rain. Lost my blackberry. Retraced my steps frantically in the pouring rain. Finally called the phone and someone answered on the other end. Arranged to meet up so that I can take my phone back. Offered reward money but person refused to accept it.

Saw two fashion shows. The show was labelled dare to wear, dare to love. Big finale was awesome. Loved the high fashion couture made from African fabric and performances. Lots of cute hot models.

Went to vietnamese restaurant after the show and then headed over to The Fifth to meet up with cute young guy I met 2 weeks prior. The Fifth was jammed packed because of some event. Managed to get line by pass but still had to pay cover.

Saturday went to Muzik for LG fashion week end of week after party. They had a bikini/lingerie fashion show. Went there at 1030pm. Gf knew the parking attendant who let us in to park for free. Used our LG passes to go through VIP line. Met up with the cute guy from Bier Market at around midnight. Stayed out till 4am. Got home and crashed. Spent all night with cute Bier Market guyM not sure if we are still platonic. He gave me a kiss on the cheek when we said gnite.

On Sunday, slept in till 130pm. Went shopping on Bloor with gf. Bought a coach purse and Shue Uermura eye lash curler from Holts.

Worked like a madwoman the pas two days. Its only Tuesday night.

Got Ultimate frisbee tomorrow night. Taking out a friend for bday dinner Thursday and going out with friends Friday and Sat. Maybe working out with cute Bier Market guy on Sunday but he said he would call me during the week.

The past 7 days...

So I've been on a bit of a blogging hiatus...Didn't do too much on Tuesday.  Played ultimate frisbee on wednesday. Was supposed to go to spice route with girlfriends but this got rescheduled to next friday. Met up with a guy for dinner...went to asian legends.  Friday went to a condo party then headed out to foundation room. Saturday, went to spice route with a guy that I met at the Bier Market several weeks ago.  Last night went to a friend's place for thanksgiving dinner, went to meet up with friends from out of town at the Rail and then headed to The Fifth with a girlfriend.  Met some interested people.  Going to St. Louis now...more later.

Sunday...Monday....happy day

So, Sunday started out pretty lazy. Was in bed for awhile. Don't know exactly what time I got up. Was recovering from the night before.

My friend sends me a text asking me to go over to her place. She had asked me to go over to help her paint.

So finally I make my way over and its about 2pm. It turns out that there is no painting happening, however she asked me to stick around to help her unpack.  As organization is not her area of strength, I agree to hang around and help out. 

So around 430pm I get a text from the guy I was supposed to meet up with. He didn't set a place and time to meet but he sent me a text letting me know he was on the way downtown on the subway. So without a meeting location, I stay put.  Finally be meet near union station. 

We walk over to chinatown as he wanted to check out some frames and was in a rush to get the asap.  So we spend some time checking out frames.  We head to the vietnamese restaurant for dinner.  I was starving.  So he proceeds to tell me stories about his ex gfs one after another. Finally he tells me about the latest one and of course its one of those sad stories that you hope to god will never happen to you.  They dated for 6 years, got engaged and he finds out she was cheating on him for a period of atleast 5 months. She had money issues, could not budget and got into credit card debt. Had to call everything off, buy her share of the condo out, and make a loss on the engagement ring.

Monday in contrast to Sunday was extremely hectic.  Had an online training presentation to do...couldn't find the right dial in code to join the conference call.  Everything went well luckily.  Thank god that's now over with.

Went to scarborough town to meet up with a girl. She's selling me a BCBG skirt that I've been looking for that's been sold out.  We do the transaction and I proceed to make my way back downtown.

Its only Monday but I am booked solid until Sunday.  How did that happen? I am triple booked Thursday, and double booked on Sat. Can my life get anymore complicated?

Time for bed now. More later in the week.

Saturday night

After eating 3000+ calories the past two nights, I needed to go out to burn off those calories.

So we ended up going to Devil's Martini tonight.  We could bypass the line and cover was $7, coat check was $2...not bad for one night.

Two guys picked up my number...neither was attractive. 

Had a good time.

its saturday night dada dadi da da da...

Friday night had a work party at my condo's party room.  Someone made lasagna, veal cutlets, and there was a smorgasborg of food. Drank too much Glen Livet, sent a few drunken txt msgs...your typical friday night.

So today stayed home and vedged. Did laundry and took many naps.  Went to dinner uptown at this italian place north of North York Centre with my relatives for Autumn Moon Festival.  So stuffed...I think I have gained 10 lbs in the past two days.

Not sure what to do tonight. Guy from my building wants to go out. My gfs are not sure...depending on whether and other factors.

More later.

Beauty...is in the eye of the beholder

One of my girlfriends was asking about why some guys don't tell the gals they date that they are beautiful. So I responded with the following:

Does it matter if someone tells you you're beautiful or not if he treats you as though you are special and beautiful?
How important is being beautiful to you and do you need to hear it from a third party to confirm it.

Does being told you're beautiful boost your self esteem and self worth? Does it matter what other people say and don't say or what other people feel and don't feel? Isn't enough to be comfortable in your own skin and to feel happy with how you look?

Why should we let what other people's thoughts and comments affect how you feel about yourslef and do we as women really need the validation?

Do we need to look and dress like the women in fashion magazines and on tv?

It does feel nice to be told that you are beautiful by the man you love and are attracted to, but what good is beauty when someone does not treat you well or with the respect that you wish for and deserve?

Looks are superficial and only part of the equation. When that fades with old age, does that matter anymore and would losing your youth and good looks make you change your perception of yourself and of what is beautiful? Does it make you feel any more or any less good about yourself?
I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder and people's opinion of other people's looks only matter to the extent each individual allows it to matter to them

Women will never tell you they think you are beautiful as they are too busy comparing themselves against you.

Men will only tell you that you are beautiful when they try to win you over but stop once they have you.

I think at the end of the day, we can't all be a supermodel or look like the celebrities. We just have to be happy with what was given to us and to make the best out of it.

To be comfortable with your own self, who you are, and what you look like is the biggest challenge. If you can get to that point, everything else becomes easier and other people's opinions won't matter

If you keep trying to change yourself, both your looks and personality to please others, you'll never satisfy everyone as everyone's opinion is different.

And if a man doesn't think you're beautiful or thinks it but doesn't say it, what does it matter at the end of the day when he's not there when it matters and when you need him. His thoughts and opinions are not that important at that point.

Wednesday ....month end

So work was pretty hectic today....being end of month and all.  Although we were supposed to be busy, and our assistants had ad hoc reports that were thrown their way last minute, they had time for a meeting to discuss their workload. 

Played ultimate frisbee today in sub zero temperature.  Most people layered and had their tuques/gloves on. Where did the fall go? Why are we experiencing winter weather already when we haven't even inched into October.  What is happening to the weather? Is this the result of global warming?

Nothing happening on the dating end for today.  But its early in the week....

Tuesday....long work day

So this morning, my boss and I got into a heated discussion over $500.  My whole entire team probably had to hear our discussion given the lack of privacy in the work environment and the fact that neither my boss nor I had enough wits to close the door.

My day doesn't begin well....however the rest of the day was ok.

Afterwork, I contact a girlfriend of mine to see if she wants to go out to have dinner. So she picks me up at around 8ish and we head to a vietnamese restaurant.  We had these salad roll beef wraps and deep fried spring rolls. For some reason I was still hungry afterwards.  Came home and had some soup.

Monday...another week in the works

So it was another typical Monday at work.  Nothing special to report.  Went to the gym for a step class...could not keep up with the instructor.

Made a date for Saturday during the day with a new guy.  The new guy sounds like he's got things together in his life. Had a good conversation. We'll have to wait and see how this guy will pan out.

The week is looking pretty booked up already.  Its only Monday, don't know how that all just happened. 

Will keep you updated, stay tuned.

The past few days - day 28 of blogging

Thursday night...worked all night.  Was supposed to go out with a friend who came downtown to attend a speedating event but was stuck at work.

Friday night had a blind date that my 26 year old girlfriend set me up on. The guy is 47 years old and as I probed further, it turns out that he has a 17 yr old daughter and a 19 year old son.  After work, I first had to meet up with my girlfriend to celebrate her 30th bday at C'est What and to celebrate her bf's new job.  Met some really interesting people there.  So around 9ish, my blind date came to pick me up at the restaurant bar.  When I went out to meet him, he was standing by his white 5 series bmw.  So I get in the car and we decide to go to a steakhouse. He takes me to this steakhouse called Bavarian House.  Its near Eaton Centre.  So we end up splitting a 24 oz portersize steak. We had giant shrimps and ceasar salad as appertizer. With the steak I had spinach, fries and a glass of wine.  Overall the food was great.  My date drove me home around 12pm and asked if i would invite him up.  I told him that my place was too messy for anyone to visit.

Saturday, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives in Mississauga. So my date was heading that way so I asked him to drop me off at my friends place. So he proceeds to pick me up at 415pm on his way back downtown  after he had picked up some groceries for the week.  So we were supposed to meet up at 5pm which is around the time we got back downtown.  As it was raining, we decided to stay in and watch a dvd instead of going to the theatre.  Around 7pm, I started to get hungry. I mentioned this to my date and he says he ate at his parents place at 3pm and that he wasn't hungry.  He also had told me on the drive down that he was going to make chili for his neighbours as he owed them dinner and I had noticed that he bought all the necessary ingredients. So after I repeatedly mentioned I was starving, my date offered me a banana, an egg sandwich, a salad, and some fruits. There I was thinking that he would suggest that we go out to dinner or order pizza in. Finally he said he could cook for me but that it would take too long and suggested that we could walk down the street to pick up something.  I had the distinct feeling that he did not want to suggest  go someplace for dinner. I wasn't sure if it was because he had paid for the first date last week and was waiting for reciprocation or what. In the end, I ended up making myself instant noodles around 7pm.  At 9pm I was still hungry and mentioned it to him again. He offered to make me a hamburger as ground beef was the only thing he had in the fridge. As that ground beef was for the chili for his dinner party the next day, how could I say yes.  He has a car and it wasn't for lack of money (as he seemed to enjoy throwing 10 party dinner parties and had plans to go out with some friends for lunch the next day).  So the guy asks what I normally eat...i told him "i normally eat dinner".  Then he suggested that we go to my place and that I cook for the both of us. So I inform him that I don't have anything to cook at my place.  In the end, he offered to drive me home around 930pm which I accepted with great relief.  While we were watching the dvd, the guy had the nerve to get his laptop, check his facebook, and play an online word puzzle game ...to my great shock.  At the door, I said thanks to him for driving me home and hopped out of the car.  As I barely shut the door, the guy presses on the gas and the car zooms loudly away.

Sunday morning, I wake up and felt like going to get some food. So I contact this other guy and we head uptown for dimsum. For some reason we were stuck in such heavy traffic that it took us an hour to go uptown.  Lunch was good and we headed to Yorkdale mall to walk around afterwards.  So I finally head back downtown and its now 6pm.  Was going to do some work at the office but there is some kind of power outage.

Wednesday

Today was a run of the mill kind of day. Worked, played ultimate frisbee, and now going to sleep.

My date from last Sunday invited me over to his place for dinner but I couldn't make it.

Tomorrow lunch with guy that I had a fling with.

Guy from last Wednesday didn't call me back. I guess he's just not that into me! Shocking...how can anyone not find me cute and attractive?! That's unthinkable.  Just kidding, my head is not that big, atleast not yet.

Trying to unwind so that I can have a good sleep tonight.

Tuesday ...day 23

I've been delinquent with my daily blogs. I'm sure you've been dying to find out what has happened the past 3 days...let me indulge you.

Atleast you can't label me as a blogging addict given my absence from my blog world for several days.  Truth be told I was on a date on Sunday night.  It initially started out very casually and turned into a date marathon.  Went out to dinner and just hung out after dinner.

Didn't do too much on Monday. Was still recovering from the weekend. 

Tonight, I broke down and gave the guy that I went out with last wednesday a call. I figured I'd give him a call in spite that it might make me look a little desperate or without other options.  Like I said, I don't enjoy playing games and aren't afraid to give a guy a call if I feel like talking to him.

Made plans for Saturday night.  Actually booked a second date with the guy from Sunday.

Feel exhausted tonight. Was supposed to go to the gym to workout but I think I"m going to turn in to bed.

Saturday night....the conclusion

So my girlfriend picks me up and we decide to head out.  We decided on going to the Drake.  We finally find parking but by then it was almost midnight. The Drake had a huge line up so we decided to inquire next door at the Beaconsfield.  The doorman there said that there was a line and that it was going to be awhile.  He said that we should go look for another place if we are looking to grab a quick drink.  So we go back to the Drake and manage to talk our way in and without paying the $10 cover charge.  We check out the place and try to get to the patio but its full.  We check out the underground and the main floor but there are no interesting guys tonight.  We finally call it a night and head back home.

Saturday night...

So its now 10pm on sat night.  Was going to go to This is London to check things out but both friends that were going to come are training for the Scotia run so they're out of commission for tonight. 

Got a call from another girlfriend who wants to go to a lounge tonight.  Told her to call me when she's figured out where she wants to go.

I"m indifferent if I go out tonight or not.  It would be ok to stay in for a change. Not as keen as before given the drop in temperature.

Saturday

So I woke up at 930am but went back to sleep.  Woke up at 130am so missed the lunch.  Luckily I didn't have to make a decision about whether or not to go.  Probably was the best thing.

So I went to the pool for a swim. Swam 8 laps and went to use the hot tub for half an hour.  Got some useful swimming pointers from the guy that I had a fling with.  We hung out for a bit after the swim.  Don't know what this guy wants from me.

Not sure what the plans are yet for tonight.  The night is still young.

Friday ....last thought of the night

To my dismay, I just noticed that I have one follower. How does that even happen? How do people even find this blog? As you can tell, I'm not sufficiently savvy to understand how this website works and how to find interesting blogs that are worth following. 

Notwithstanding, I am grateful that it seems that people are reading what I take the trouble to write.  My efforts are of some entertainment value to some and yes, I seem to matter to someone, no matter how little significance I must hold.

So tomorrow, I've been invited by my friend to a lunch at One in Yorkville...apparently the "friend" with whom I had a slight altercation at Spice the other night will be there.  Both people involved in that altercation will be there....I still have no idea how I got in the middle. In fact, I was just trying to be a good friend.  Seems like I always get the raw end of the stick when I try to do the right thing or what I thought was a good deed.  People's ego get hurt, things blow up, and the next thing I know I am the target of someone's contempt. To go or not to go....that is a very good question.  More tomorrow.

Friday night....

So we went to Yorkville and had a girls night out ....dinner at Sushi Inn. Had the premium bento box...steak with salmon sushi.  The tempura is one of the best out there.  Good times with friends.

Following dinner we went to Spice for a few drinks before heading to Cheval.  Two other girlfriends meeting us there. We were at the front of the line but got into the velvet rope area before they arrived. They somehow managed to jump the velvet ropes during a mad rush of pandamonium.  So we finally are in and find out that although it was advertised, Colin Farrell will not be making an appearance however Mini Me and Marilyn Manson were in the house.  There was a private party until 11:30pm eventhough they specified that doors open at 11pm.  Cover was $10 and patio was not accessible due to private party. DJ was really good...danced all night and partied next to the owner of the club. 

Just got home....feet hurt....felt great to step out of shoes. Will be sleeping soundly tonight.

friday...time flies

I skipped two days....silence shall prevail.  I guess I should explain my absence from the blogging stratosphere - I was on a hot date on Wednesday. A first date at that which surprisingly went well.  The guy was everything that a girl could hope for. He opened doors, paid the bill, was attentive to small details - overall a very interesting guy. I was left smitten but with no notice about when and if I am to see him again.

Worked late last night and just went straight to bed. Was planning to go to Century Room but the weather was too cold and both my friend and I were too tired.

Going to Yorkville for dinner and then Cheval later.

Tuesday ...last thoughts for the night

So about to hit the sack soon. Is anyone reading this blog, if yes, please leave a comment so that I know you're out there. Does anyone find anything I have to say entertaining or useful? Its good to serve a purpose in life. To mean something to someone that is out there, to leave this world having made a difference.

Not that you haven't noticed but my dating hiatus did not last long at all. When things started to become too quiet, comfortable, and drama free, I felt a twinge of boredom beginning to set in.

My previous fling with whom i have agreed to be friends is becoming very persistent to resume things.  The more I reiterate that we are going to be friends, the more he is trying to rekindle the former flame.  The more you don't want something, the more it comes to you. 

I want simplicity in my life. I like things defined. I won't settle for less than what I want.

Tuesday evening

Got an impromptu invite for swimming lessons. Pool was crowded so went to the hot tub instead.  Swam one lap and felt spent so decided to hit the gym.

Ran 3.5 miles and did some abs.  Need to get into shape. Was motivated by guy running on the next treadmill. Caught up to his mileage eventhough i started later.  Cheated a little as i managed to stop to text message someone along the way.

Received compliments on my bikini at the pool.  Looking forward to rehab pool party in Vegas.

Tuesday

So far so good. Day 16 of my blog and I can officially confirm that my blog and I are irrelevant.

Does that matter to me? Not really. Feels good to blog and get your thoughts out there.  Who knows, maybe someday someone will be following this and find what I think about or what I have to say interesting.  ok, probably unlikely but you never know.

So today i planned out Thurs, Fri, and Sat night.  Why did I have to do that this early in the week...Tiff week, that's why.  You can't possibly get in anywhere if you don't get ahead of the game. Went through that last weekend and determined that I"m not going to be caught off guard for this coming week.

Got on guest list for Century room for Thurs, Cheval for Friday, and This is London for Sat.  Hope that it works out this week after much anticipation and hype. Do I want to get a glimpse of Colin Farrell at the Dr. Parnassus after party on Friday? Who doesn't.

So I got me and one other friend on guestlist. Others have agreed to come but they will have to fend for themselves to get in.

My week is shaping up nicely. I've got a date for tomorrow night and perhaps meeting up with cute guy from last Saturday on Friday. Single life is not so bad. 

Calling it a night for now. Stayed up too late last night so need some rest now.

Monday night

Although its supposed to be industry night, I"m all partied out and still recovering from my quasi cold. I'm in the last recovery stage but still not 100%.

So as the industry people gear up to go out tonight, I find myself cocooning in my condo. Took a long nap earlier...went down for two hours.

I think I'm going through a hibernating state.  After being around people non-stop the past month, I feel the sudden need to be alone. My condo is looking cleaner as I actually have time to clean things up. A week ago, it looked as though a bomb blew up in here.

So, a la sex in the city style and true to the he's just not that into you movie, i find myself wondering what my next step is.  Do I just wait for Mr. cute guy to text me or call me later in the week or should I contact him.  Should I follow the usual rules as not to come across too desperate or do I just go for the no bullshit approach. My instincts tell me to just sit tight and do nothing when in doubt.

TIFF weekend...what's with all the hype

So things this weekend didn't go exactly as planned.  Wanted to go to a tiff party on Sat. night but brant house got a call from michael douglas' publicist mentioning that they needed to keep the crowd small. Cover was hiked to $20 and even the regulars were told they had to pay cover that night & to come back at 1pm to get in for free. The regulars decided to go to Atelier.

I showed up early at 9pm and was told to come back at 12:30pm.  They did let in 5 other ladies that showed up and that did not mind the $20 cover.

So I met up with my friends at the Bier Market down the street.  We stayed there and listened to the live band.  No cover there and the place was pretty packed. 

While we were waiting for a table, started chatting with this cute guy who came with 2 of his friends.  Picked up his number before leaving to sit down as it would probably be the only half decent guy that I will be meeting that night and perhaps this month.

After the Bier Market, we all headed to Schmooze the once it spot which has become a has been place.  Its the only place that we could most likely get in given the tiff party hype.  We were not going to be getting in anywhere else that night without guestlist or vip.

So Schmooze was pretty packed considering.  The crowd was not what I am usually used to but I was with my friends so everything was ok. Mixed drinks were $3.50 ....same as back in the day when it was the afterwork it place. I recall large lineups back then. Now oasis and spice have become the afterwork places to go this summer.

Got home at around 230pm.  Woke up in a daze and rushed to get ready as I was getting picked up.  We had reservations at One in yorkville for 1pm but could make it as we arrived there at 2pm.  There was no more room on the patio but we could have sat inside which was really dead when we checked it out.

We ended up having lunch at Nervosa on the patio.  Pretty nice place and good food. Saw a couple of film people there but had no idea who they were. Did not spot any celebs in yorkville but bought some sandals from Hugo Boss at 70% off.

Chilled out on my balcony for the rest of the afternoon. Took another long needed nap and chilled out at home the rest of the evening.

Sent a text to cute guy from the night before. Got a text back later from him so all is good in my life.

Friday - evening

Went out to dinner today...had great italian food and tiramisu. Heading home now at 2am.

Trying to get home from midtown. Its chilly outside. Can't wait to get home.

Friday - day 12

Its now friday morning. Went out last night to spice for a drink with a girlfriend. Didn't get there till 1130pm and didn't get home till 230pm. It was a fun time.

Tiff weekend coming up. Trying to find an IN to a good party.

Going to midtown for dinner at friends place. Can't wait for the weekend to start.

day 11

I've caught a cold from one of my friends and have been feeling a bit under the weather.

I'm in bed right now on a Thursday evening. Tiff parties and galas are happening everywhere while I am lying pathetically in bed.

Today I had lunch with a guy that I had a fling with. We clarified that we will remain friends. We clearly aren't that compatible and not sure that he is exactly my mr. Right.

Atleast I have cleared up any ambiguity and put an end to that tryst. Clarity and peace of mind brings simplicity. Very zen type of thought.

My girlfriend was thinking of going to spice tonight. She would probably call if she wants to go. As I'm not feeling very well, I haven't had the inclination to contact her. I was sleeping the past few hours and just woke up. I was awakened by an email from a colleague in china. They are on a different time zone. She thanked me for my prompt response to her questions. Working after hours.

Trying to get into a tiff party for saturday. Don't know if its going to happen. More on that later.

day 10

Ok, so I've become a blogging addict in 10 days. Have I become an attention whore? Given that I have no followers and probably no one reading this, you can't really say I'm currently an attention seeker.

So, truth being told, I am currently on a dating hiatus, a dating drought. There were a few laggers that I was still in contact with and an ex boyfriend (yes, now I'm really grasping at straws).

Life is boring, yes, but with no stress or drama. Or so you would think. I was in an argument with a friend last Thursday but now that is water under the bridge.

So, goal for tomorrow, prepare a retail resume to apply to Urban Planet.

Tuesday night....end of day 9 of blogging

Its now past midnight, technically day 10 of blogging for those that are sticklers for details.

Sadly, I'm still sick. Took some supplements. Hope that will help.

Was watching the US open...Nadal vs Monfils...very intense.

Some thoughts that occurred to me today...people don't change. What appears to be on the surface is not always what is going on behind the scenes. If you made a decision in your life by following your instincts, it is the right decision.

Sometimes when you stop looking for something, it will come to you.

Tuesday night

Felt like it was Monday although its really Tuesday. Was invited to my friend's going away bash. Feel a cold coming on so had to skip it.

TIFF hype

At home now looking up TIFF parties online. Apparently I've been missing out on all the TIFF parties in the past few years.

You need to be somebody in order to attend the many parties that are being held.

All these years I've been missing out on all these parties. There is an opening/closing galas. I think the opening is at Liberty Grand and closing is at Roy Thompson Hall. There's also the E!/ctv, global/ET, instyle,holts, hello parties. Some were held this week. There's also swag bags, sometimes with purses, shoes, and other cool stuff.

I was trying to think of how to be invited. It would help if I worked for a magazine or newspaper.

more on tiff later

Monday night

Its Monday night and I'm home for a change. Just showered and just chilling at home. Watching pretty in pink.

at the beach

Sitting at the beach right now on the boardwalk. Apparently most hard core vball players are in LA for a tournament. I guess if you play in the league you're part of that circuit.

Kind of breezy out here but the sun is still strong.

Looking at bikini bodies and hot guys with their 8 packs.

Monday - day 8 of blogging

Driving to the beach now. Woke up at 10am and went shopping at noon. Bought a bunch of things from Urban Planet, my favorite store.

I love that store! I'm going to apply for a sales position, I think. I'm there all the time anyway, so why not?!

Weather's hot today. Windy but hot and swealtering in the sun. I put on sunscreen already. Don't want any skin damage.

More later.

Sunday night

The Killers concert was awesome! We were sitting near the front of the lawn but still had a good view. The amphitheatre is a good venue. The weather was a bit chilly but it was a good time.

After the concert, we walked home, got changed, and decided to go to King West. We drop by Spice to have a few drinks with some friends who were also at the concert. We hang out at the patio but could not get drinks. So we left and went to the Bier Mrkt patio down the street. By the time we got there, we wnted food but the kitchen was long closed.

After the Bier Markt, we head over to Swatow to have Chinese food. We ordered hot and sour soup, we was the worst I've ever had.

We finally get back home at 3am. Going to bed now.

Saturday night

CNE was pretty packed. Did several hours of outlet shopping followed by tiny toms donuts & pizza. I must have gained a few pounds.

I got a text from a girlfriend inviting me to Lobby. So we head up to Lobby but end up missing my friend. We decided to head to Hemingway's patio and have a few drinks.

Met some interesting people there and headed home at 230am. Slept in this morning.

Woke up around 10am and headed to the gym for a workout and a swim.

At Killers concert now. Just about to start.

The next morning

I wake up....alone, luckily or unluckily, however you want to look at it.  Going to the CNE today followed by clubbing at night.

Where to go...that is the question. There are a couple of options that I am contemplating...not sure yet and not sure who I will be going out with. More later...

TGIF

After a full long week,TGIF.

I spent part of my day trying to plan out the evening and the rest of the weekend. Funny how much planning I am doing for someone who doesn't like to plan ahead.

People around me have all these preferences. I try to please everyone and be accomodating but frankly, it feels like a lot of work.  Call me lazy but I'm already exhausted communicating with three people simultaneously via text and email.

So after work, I head over to meet my girlfriend at Eaton Centre. She's already been there waiting for me for over an hour and a bit when I finally arrive. My other friend sends me a text letting me know that she'll be meet us at 630pm. The plan is to try to hit a patio. Either Milestones or Jacks. We show up at the restaurant and the wait is half an hour to an hour. By the time we are seated at Jacks - I'm exhausted from standing and waiting. After we got a table indoors, we get on another wait list for a table on the patio. Apparently, there are 18 people ahead of us for a table on the patio.

After we order our food, we're joined by three other girls. Suddenly the evening has turned into an impromptu girls night out.  After dinner, two girls decide to catch a movie at Varsity while the three others decide to go home.  I call my other girlfriend and she says to meet her at Frequency at around 12pm.

I rush home, shower, change, and rush back out. On my way to the club, I start walking next to a rickshaw guy. They offer me a ride for free but I decline stating that I do not know who has been on that seat.  We have an indepth discussion about his rickshaw business. He rents the rickshaw for $130 per month and makes $15 per person per ride on average.  He says he makes approximately $30K for the summer. Quite entrepreneurial. He's 26. We discuss his long-term work aspirations. He mentions he's looking into real estate as a possible profession. So I recommend that if he likes selling, he should try to get into business to business selling as that would be more lucrative if you're going to be on commission.He asks my age.  I ask him to guess and he guesses 21.

So I get to Frequency and my girlfriend is already there with two of her friends.  There is a lineup. We use the reduced cover cards that some guy handed over to me down the block. Cover still turns out to be $10. I get in there and it turns out that its Asian night promoted by Brighter Days Entertainment.  So as with any other night out, we first go to the bars, get a round of drinks, then go walk around.  There are two floors and three rooms with different music.  We first go to the upstairs where they play R&B Hip Hop. At some point in the night, we do a bathroom trip and get more drinks from the bar.

After years of clubbing, I've decided that from now on, I would be wearing ear plugs when I go to nightclubs.  The reason being that I think that I have lost some hearing already as I sometimes speak very loudly and I can't hear people that well when they speak. I think old age is getting to me.

So at the nightclub, sometime during the night, a guy talks to me and says something. I can't hear what he's saying because I"m wearing earplugs but nod my head as though I have understood.  He leaves and then he comes back.  He talks to me again and said that he thought we were going to go do a shot.  I told him that I don't drink. He asked me if its because i'm the designated driver. I said no, I live downtown.  I just don't drink. I don't think he seem to understand why someone would not drink. The music is too loud so I could not explain that I'm a little bit allergic to alcohol.

Overall it was a fun evening. Tired now as its 320am.  Going to sleep. 

Thursday

So how did my night go?

Well things were looking up near the end of the day when a couple of my friends contacted me to go out after work.

First, I stopped by Jacks on Front and hung out at the patio. As I was sitting there I received a text from my friend inviting me to Duke of Devon. As I wanted to get out of my work clothes and had promised some other friends to join them on King west, I had to pass on the Duke.

After doing a quick stop at Cityplace, we headed to King West and got a text letting me know that they were headed to Bier markt. Few minutes later, I received another text saying that Bier mrkt was full so they were at Kiwe.

So we ended up having dinner at Kiwe. Food was ok but it was your typical fine dining portions which leaves you hungry even after you have finished your meal. The waiter was nice enough and after dinner we went back to the Bier markt to see if we could get a table. We hung out, listened to the live band, and had a few drinks.

After the Bier markt, we were either going to head to cheval where someone that my friend knows was having a bday and there was a gueslist or Spice route. By midnight there were line ups everywhere.

So we show up at spice, we were told that the wait would be half an hour. Somehow in between conversations, selected individuals were waved in by the doormaan. So we started to walk away and ran into two other friends. They were headed to spice so we decided to head back. When we got to the entrance, somehow the line had disappeared and people were just walking n.

We finally get in and the moment I get there one of the guys that we ran into has a huge argument with me and suddenly, I just feel like leaving. Just as the night was getting started, there is already drama. So I take a breather and decide to email one of my friends. After I'm done, I went out to the patio on my way out and run into my friends. By then, it was already really late so they said they were thinking of leaving.

We were going to head out but one of our friends ran into this guy she is dating so we had to wait for her. So we finally all get out of there eventually.

We all walk to my friend's car and they drop me off on their way home.

It was a typical evening out of bar hopping. That's the usual Thursday night downtown, now I am home blogging with Sweet November paying in the background,

life in the fast lane

So I finally cleaned up my 650 sq ft condo yesterday morning. The best part about living alone is that you do what you want, when you want, which also includes cleaning. Living alone is great. You're the boss of you and no one is there to tell you what to do.

Things in my life are starting to be a bit more organized. I can actually find things now. I've never been one to be known for my organizational skills. Definitely not my area of strength.

"Never thought I would be in love like this. When I look at you my mind goes on a trip" - very poetic song. I can't recall the last time I felt like that! One can only dream to experience love as described in poetry, songs, movies, and novels. My life to date certainly hasn't felt like that for some time. In fact, probably just the opposite.

Do I have any plans for tonight? No, of course not. I've decided to ban planning altogether. I resolved that my life would be completely spontaneous. So, now, I have no plans for tonight.

After eating up 5 slices of pepperoni pizza yesterday, I think I will hit the gym.

Exercise goal for today. Run 3 miles.

Today is Thursday. A big night to go out here in TO. Patios will be packed. Will write more later.

Last thought of the day...

Ran 3.5 miles and swam 10 laps followed by weights, stretching, and abs. Looks like I was able to follow through and surpass my fitness goals for the day. Again, when you set the bar low, you won't be disappointed.

Of course its now 11:36pm in the evening. The good thing about cityplace is that you can workout until the late hours of the pm. Downtown condo life is great.

Thoughts on "going out nights"...what's hot

Life of a single girl living downtown is pretty good. You have all the bars and nightclubs within walking distance. Thursday nights...big going out night...Keg, Ki, Jacks, Oasis, Spice, Cheval, Brant, Century room. The night is not over till you've dropped by atleast three places. However some people that I know prefer "industry nights", hence Mondays/Tuesday, when bartenders have their days off.

Living downtown, you pretty much see it all. You've been to all the places. You've seen it and done it all. Places that were once hot suddenly become "tired" overnight. Places change venues, names, undergo renovations...all in an attempt to keep people "interested" and along with the "trends".

You can't simply decide last minute to go out Saturday nights anymore. You have to decide before 8pm whether you want to be on "guestlist" which is ambigous in terms of what you get with it. Sometimes its no cover, reduced cover, or just a line bypass. It all depends on how hot you look and who the doorman is. People go as far as making reservations for bottle service. That way you're guaranteed VIP treatment.

Once you get in, you have to line up for everything. You have to line up to get a drink, line up to go to the bathroom, and line up to go up to the patio. I remember spending all night lining up at Circa...when it was formerly called some other club name that currently evades my voided mind. I lined up to go from one floor to the next, from one room to the next, had to line up just to get out of a room, line up to go to the washroom, line up to get my coat, and line up even to exit. From the beginning of the night while trying to get in, get your ticket, and coat check to the end of the night when you retrieve your coat and exit, you're pretty much in line ups most of your time there. Its sort of the equivalent to going to wonderland. You end up spending more time in line ups then on the rides themselves.

Thoughts on willpower

So talking about addictions, I just finished was was left of a bag of low salt Lays chips. That's just sad that the commercials are accurate when they say you can't just eat one. It doesn't end at that, its like you have to eat the whole bag. Same goes for chocolate. You can't just eat one piece - you'll just feel like you're depriving yourself. That's why some genius marketing person came up with "singles" to reduce portions. You pay a premium to have the portions controlled for you cuz you don't have sufficient willpower to do it yourself. Or how about Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and the Zone?! All marketed because us as human fail to follow through and have trouble controlling our urges and impulses. How primitive are we?!

Basically it comes down to this - you know its bad for you, but it tastes/feels so good, so you just can't help yourself. "Its beyond my control"...taken straight from Dangerous Liaisons when the count breaks things off with the woman he loves. But is it really?!

Life just isn't fair and it isn't always easy. If people make you think that everything comes easy for them, think again. Nothing that is worth anything comes easy in life. You have to work for everything. In work, love, health, and relationships...you always need to sacrifice in order to get what you want.

Which brings me back to the topic ...are those things that you can really control? Some would argue that you can't. You can work towards increasing your odds of avoiding the worst case scenario from happening but a lot of it also has to do with having some luck in life (for people that do not believe in fate and predestination).

Certainly in our work life, there are obviously many things out of the realm of our control. We have to work with and depend on a multitude of people. There is competition, jealousy, and everyone is out for themselves. Survival of the fittest. We can't always choose who we work with but how well we work with those that surround us is a good predictor of success.

As for the topic of love, lets not even go there as this is an area to do with feelings that no one can control. You like who you like. You love who you love. It is what it is. You can't control what others feel, just as you can't control what you feel. Either you're attracted or you are not. Sad but true.

Thoughts on blogging

I woke up this morning with very little expectations and achievable goals. Glad to report that I have not been disappointed as all my expectations have been met and both goals have been achieved. I picked up killers tickets and mailed out the package. Hey, when you set the bar low, you really have nothing to complain or feel ashamed about.

I always wondered how blogging boomed while I wasn't looking and now has become as common place as teased hair in the 80s. Alongside with blogging, there was also a sudden trend of using bed, bath, and body works antibacterial hand soap and scented body cream which I recently noticed. Have I been falling asleep at the wheel? It seems these days that everyone has a blog. Whether you're famous or not, whether people read it or not, it doesn't matter. If you're anyone that means anything to anyone in this world, you must blog.

Perhaps blogging is like an addiction. The more you do it, the more it sucks you in. Its like cocaine or heroin. The more you use it, the more you crave it, and the next thing you know, you are consumed by it. Maybe someday there will be AA for bloggers (or actually BA in this case).

I have an addictive personality at times. Its easy these days to form addictions without even trying...shopping, buying shoes, surfing the net, playing video games, drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, plastic surgery,text messaging, tv, blackberries, gambling, dieting, exercising, overeating __xyz___ etc...You name it, and there's not only an addiction but also a support group for it. Anything compulsive and that is able to fill that craving for instant and immediate mental, physical, and visual stimulation/gratification is fair game to form an addiction. That is why I personally don't take the liberty to get myself too involved in anything too stimulating/gratifying at the risk of having things unravel on me and my life getting completely out of control.

So I ask myself, why in the world did I suddenly decided that I would start a blog? Why would anyone want to read what I have to say? Do I care? Do they care? Then I realised that blogging could be a good way to do a brain dump of all things that go through my head and get it out of my system. Some sort of overly self indulging purging of thoughts and allowing the world into a place that used to be secluded and a sacred. A ritual sort of akin to the new trends you see these days of doing physical cleansing and detox with the exception that this is a mental cleanse.

A new day ahead

So, the great thing about living in cityplace is that you can pick up your groceries at just about any hour of the day and any day of the week. Last night, I went grocery shopping at Sobeys at 1050pm. Which reminds me I have to get going...need to make a salad for lunch for today.

Feeling pretty good this morning. After running 3 miles last night and swimming 5 laps, somehow I feel more energetic than my sendentary days.

Goals for the day: pick up tickets at ticketmaster for the Killers concert on Sunday. That should be a simple enough to do. Just need to get to Gate 7 of the Rogers centre before 6pm. Goal no. 2, mail package to cousins in Boston - gifts from baby gap for their new borns. Another simple task, just need to write the cards and go to the post office at lunch time.

Exercise goal for today....run 3 miles and swim 10 laps. Hopefully not too many people will choose the same time as me to go swimming. The luxury of condo life...everything is within the same building complex. Its a world of its own. You can technically survive without leaving the building complex in a bad snowstorm. You might be a bit bored, but atleast you are not inconvenienced, god forbid.

Need to rush to work soon. My enticing job is waiting for me. My cubicle is awaiting. But first, my daily starbucks stop over at John and Wellington. Huge lineup everyday but fairly fast service. No complaints. More later...

So what's the big deal about downtown life?

Life downtown is either a dream or a nightmare. You wake up in the morning wondering what's in store for you. Is today going to be a good day or bad day? Sometimes you think its the opposite of what you had expected and yet sometimes its exactly what you had expected...expectations, expectations, that's how we all tend to get into trouble. It is the determinant of what you will feel during the day and will determine whether your day will be a dream come true or simply a plain nightmare. Whether it is with work, love life, personal life...it can go either way depending on the fine details.

I'm a normal regular run of the mill downtown girl in her 30s. I have a professional job, I live in cityplace, I enjoy a multitude of sports and staying active...nothing out of the ordinary. What makes my life interesting are the simple day to day interactions that i see and which I will be sharing in this blog...hopefully to those who are interested. Its good to be able to relate to people...to feel that in this world, you are not alone.